Day two. Hoping for a little more terror, some horror or at least mild peril. Moving forward into the 80s, we chose They Live, an action/horror/sci-fi film starring ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper of old-school WWF (the wrestling one) fame and Keith David, whose ostensibly forgettable name makes him seem much less memorable then he actually is. Firstly, as a title, They Live (which would surely warrant an exclamation point in the current era) basically sounds like a horror film. Secondly, it sports a more-than-respectable 7.2 rating on IMDB. Both good signs.

I have come to chew bubblegum and kick ass… and I’m all out of bubblegum.

Well… They Live is more of a horror film than The Wicker Man, but probably still errs towards being an action film with horror elements. The premise is fine, it’s generally good fun and in many ways it taps into the conspiracy-theory, lizard-people, chemtrail-type nonsense that seems still prevalent in the US. Essentially Roddy’s character (Nada) gets hold of some sunglasses which allow him to see beyond the apparent ‘reality’ of his existence. Then he gets hold of some guns. Shooting happens. There are explosions. Some people become very adverse to putting on sunglasses when asked to. There is a whole alleyway fight/wrestling sequence which goes on so much longer than it needs to. Then, when you think it’s finished, so much longer again. However, the film is alright. The horror might just be more like commentary on social inequality and capitalism, but it might be horror. These first two films have made me wonder if horror is actually a thing at all (perhaps I should watch The Thing next). But They Live is fine and probably horror.

So does it deserve it’s IMDB rating of 7.2? Probably not. It’s a pretty straightforward romp, but has some nice touches.

Is it worth watching? It’s a bit of fun. You don’t have to think too hard, or for too long (1hr34mins, boom).

What are the best bits (intentionally-vague slight-spoilers)? The whole sunglasses thing is good. Maybe it could have been expanded upon a bit, but still well done. The ‘OBEY’ message reminded me of Shepard Fairey’s Andre the Giant has a Posse campaign, particularly with Roddy Piper being a wrestler and the general ‘street’ feel of the film. Keith David is always great, although his voice sometimes goes to quite shrill places in this film (which, I admit, seems barely plausible).

What are the worst bits? The aforementioned long and entirely unnecessary wrestling/fight sequence. Nada’s action-hero one-liners are awful from every angle. Our protagonists make poor, and inconsistent, decisions as to when (or why) they choose fight, flight or hide.

But is ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper actually an actor? Yeah. He’s in loads of stuff and, other than the odd occasion where he seems to look the wrong way, can certainly do what he needs to do for this film. Fortunately, if there is ‘horror’ in this movie, his role is one of an uncomplicated man dealing violently with it. So eminently achievable.

In many ways a progression, although the ‘horror,’ whilst present, once again seems somewhat ‘background.’ I will endeavour to find an absolutely nailed-on pure horror film next time around…

I’ve not seen that many horror films. I would say that I’m not sure why, but actually I’ve just never been that interested in the genre as a whole. I may be entirely missing the point or my first forays into fear films may have simply been wildly underwhelming. Whatever the reason, it is much quicker for me to list the horror films I have seen, rather than those I haven’t: The Shining, Alien, The Blair Witch Project, The Witch, The Birds, Scream, Shaun of the Dead, Zombeavers… that may be it.

However, with Halloween falling at the end of October, I decided it would be a good exercise to try and watch a horror film every night in November. It might be a fun use of the post-clocks-going-back longer evenings, and I’d hopefully get a much better grip on the whole genre and what it has to offer. So we compiled a list of potential candidates for a month of monstrous movies.

After some thought, it was decided that a strong start would be sensible. By choosing a true undisputed classic, which graces practically every list of the greatest horror cinema has to offer, the whole exercise would be instantly justified and its November-spanning continuation made more palatable. That was the thinking anyway…

Shocks are so much better absorbed with the knees bent.

The Wicker Man. A British folk horror from 1973 set on a remote Scottish island, ranked #36 on Time Out’s 100 Best Horror Films and #10 on Empire’s 50 Best Horror Films. Having now watched it (and trying to avoid any spoilers, as there are probably other people who haven’t seen it), I can safely say that the phrase “great horror film” is only as accurate as the word “film.” Time Out describe it as a “creepily unfolding tale of dawning terror” which I personally find incredibly inaccurate. Again, I am no expert on horror films, but I would expect something a little more horrifying, frightening, unsettling or, at a pinch, less mundane.

The story is actually a fairly straightforward one of bigotry, small-mindedness, religious intolerance and criminal behaviour. A policeman turns up on an island to investigate the disappearance of a girl and proceeds to be an absolute dick to everyone. As the main protagonist I feel like we’re probably supposed to empathise with the copper, or at least have an interest in his ‘investigations’ or ultimate fate. However, he turns up, is rude to everyone, projects his value system on the anyone who will listen to him (not that he gives them much choice) and essentially makes himself instantly completely detestable. Granted, there’s objectively quite a lot of weird shit happening on Summerisle but, from a narrative perspective, everything that happens is somewhat predictable. The only rogue element is the police officer, Sgt Howie, who makes very questionable decisions and has clearly never heard the phrase “you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” The only horrific element of the film seems to be the fate of some animals, but that’s standard man’s inhumanity to animals. Whatever discomfort the police officer may encounter seems a probable outcome of his own actions and, with his character being such an insufferable idiot, strangely justifiable (he does spend the whole film arbitrarily breaking the law and upsetting people after all). He certainly does nothing for civil-police relations.

The tale is one of religious intransigence. I’m not sure where the horror is. There’s some good old-fashioned weird shit happening, including a healthy 1970s dose of gratuitous nudity, but I couldn’t establish where any terror, trepidation or (at the very least) uneasiness was supposed to come from. The most unsettling thing was probably seeing Christopher Lee with spectacularly-coiffured hair. Either that or the very many musical numbers.

So does it justify its 7.5 rating on IMDB? No. Not at all.

Is it worth watching? Maybe… not as a so-called ‘horror film,’ but perhaps as a cultural marker.

What are the best bits (intentionally-vague slight-spoilers)? Cinematically, some of the cinematography is really crisp and vibrant. Otherwise, simple things like Britt Ekland dancing naked in front of a wardrobe, the excellent mechanical hobby horse, the middle-aged woman playing a child, Christopher Lee’s 1970’s American housewife haircut, nude late-night stradding of a gravestone, Sumer is icumen In being sung at one point, and the fact it’s less than 90 minutes long …

What are the worst bits? The story. Edward Woodward’s unrelatable and loathsome police officer character. The stark absence of anything I would describe as horror.

Am I missing the point? I don’t think so. I think the film can only work as a horror if we (at least on some level) want Sergeant Howie to succeed in his endeavours. If it is supposed to be a satire on religion, then that’s more convincing, albeit somewhat diluted by the comic overzealousness (or just bat-shit craziness) of both sides.

Don’t bend your knees as the tale unfolds, because the creeping feeling that ultimately dawns on you is that there is going to be no shock.

The Wicker Man is considered one of horror’s high-points and I have a whole month of horror films on my schedule. Now that’s terrifying.