Halloween had one guy in blue overalls, some decent acting, a reasonable runtime, a surprising lack of gore and a coherent storyline. Today’s film had lots of guys in blue overalls, terrible acting, an excessive runtime, lots of rubbish gore and an veritable surfeit of nonsense. Whilst Dawn of the Dead (1978) was made in the same year and still features high up on lists of the best horror films, it is just so, so awful. It thinks it’s an action film. There are zero redeeming features. After a handful of acceptable, even borderline enjoyable movies, this is horror films back on form: shit, pointless and a massive waste of life.

Dummies! Dummies! Dummies!

What are the best bits (intentionally-vague slight-spoilers)? There’s an attempt at gentle humour, regarding the behaviour of the zombies and some satire on how people, and the media, would react to a full-on zombie apocalpyse. However, this is disjointed and not very clever or funny. Some of the music is fun.

What are the worst bits? The acting is rubbish. Painfully so. The zombies have blue faces like smurfs, and are rubbish. Actors are used multiple times, with little attempt to make them seem at all different. There’s a lot of gore, but it is rubbish: the blood is like red oil paint. It is far too long and feels even longer than that. Nothing makes sense. The zombies are useless, but are fortunately faced with even more useless human beings. Name anything you might find in a film, and it will be rubbish in this. At one point someone tries to hit a zombie with a hammer and they just fall into each other; it would be funny but it’s just sad. The ending is completely unsatisfying.

Anything else to say? No. I want to forget I ever watched that film now please. Just don’t watch Dawn of the Dead. You have been warned.